When we speak, how many times do we speak what we mean? That what we want to with no fear? How many times do we actually do what we feel to do?? That what we feel to do with no fear?

Yes fear… That what holds us back from saying what we mean or from doing what we want to do is fear. The fear of failure. The fear of rejection. The fear of loosing someone or that of breaking someones heart. Fear of loosing your job or fear or loosing an opportunity. Fear is the worst enemy that a man can have if he has to achieve anything in life, something that holds you back, diverts your thoughts and your momentum.

But fear has two sides of its coin. Fear of loosing someone is what keeps you tied to your loved ones. Fear of failure is what pushes one to work harder towards success. A fearless man is nothing less then a wild animal ready to charge for a kill. Fear of doing something wrong is what aggravates reconsideration of ones decisions. Fear of death, the most deadliest feeling, is nothing but the realization of our living souls and a reminder of how wonderful this life is no matter what shit we are in.

Then there is fear of change. Our life is a journey which includes changes in all aspects. We change physically from a child to a teenager to an adult to an old human being. Each of this phase of life, being changes also constitute many other changes within them selves. A change for better always brings a sense of happiness, unlike changes which associate compromise, loss, or any other kind of a fall back. Fear can easily be misunderstood or misinterpreted with other feelings like concern, cautiousness, etc.

Once Kunal and me were hanging out at MG Road, one of the hottest spot in Pune while he asked me “What’s Important in a relationship”.

I replied with a smile on my face, “It’s not looks, it’s not lust or any other thing, but it’s majorly about understanding and respecting each other’s views”. This conversation was still fresh in Kunal’s mind, and he once queried an elderly friend of ours, considering his experience with married life.

The elder sipped in some more scotch and said, “For a guy, its convenience.” We all looked at him with a question on our face. “He continued… If everything is as per our convenience, we are happy. This is what we guys are” and it seemed to be true. Not that its selfishness though.

I added… “Which is in turn what we expect when we mean by being understanding” to which all started laughing.

Later I thought about what I had added as a conclusion, this really had some philosophical depth.

Understanding and convenience are really co related in the paradigm of the mean world. Understanding not just in the context of a relationship, but also in its conventional meaning as intellection can be overridden by feeling of convenience.
“Understanding” or “Not- Understanding” something is matter of convenience which depends if one really wants to do what’s right, else… its convenience masked by the virtue of understanding and same applies to realization which is again related to understanding.

Now the point is how many times do you prefer understanding over your convenience??

Ive been selfish lately… selfish aint a bad word… its the perception of selfishness that draws between the good and the bad.
I have been selfish running behind my daily chores so much that I has almost been selfish to my inner self… starving it away from what I really like to do.
I have made a promise to myself of putting an end to this selfishness and bring things on a right track. Share what ive learnt, rejoiced and lived.

Here is how you invoke and .exe from your C#.net application

System.Diagnostics.Process P = new System.Diagnostics.Process();
P.StartInfo.FileName = “Path_To_The_EXE”;
System.Threading.Thread.Sleep(5000);
try
{

P.Start();

}
catch (Exception E)
{
//Handle The Exception
}

Things were kind of getting weird for me and I needed a break from the routine life and relax all away from the city humdrum. A leave from office on Monday gave me a chance to grab a big weekend and relax. Relaxation was need of the time and any treks were already out of the lists for probable destinations. Our farmhouse near Malshej was a better destination for the much needed relaxation… moreover it would also give me an opportunity to satisfy the shutterbug in me. So the motive was fixed, the destination was finalised… Ohh yes.. company?? Mr. Shirish Thorat is my accomplice almost all the times and this time Rohan joined us for this trip. Our original plan consisted of a days rest and a small visit to Caves at Palu/ Sonawale in this range.

A soothing drive on NH222 after which we were at my farmhouse at Pendhri near Vaishakhare… Its a beutifull place and offers magnificent views of Naneghat and Jivdhan from the backyard along with Amboli (Dharya) Ghat and Durg/Dhakoba.

A nice dinner at Vaishakhare and we were set to rock the night…. Cold weather, Camp fire and Roasted Chicken topped with talks and fun became an excellent combo. Night was not very good because of the cold weather which triggered my ear ache. The next morning I unexpectedly rised up early trying haard to sooth my aching ear. Photography was still on my mind and I was certainly eager about getting my hands on my Sigma 70-300 DG MACRO lens that I had bought recently. The urge within me took over the pain and I started hunting for the butterflies to strike a pose after few clicks a Yellow Brested Flycatcher attracted me.. and I started following it… and to my surprise it came on the drumstick tree right in front of my farmhouse. Waiting there for some more time, I noticed few more different birds chirped around the tree and me trying to capture each of it in my cam.

After all these efforts I took a well deserved nap followed by a drive in the lonely roads in the nearby mountains. Yet another unsuccessful attempt to make it to the Caves at Palu/ Sonawale. More bird photography attempts failed as well as successful and we were off to sleep. Next morning a late start for the return journey back to Mumbai on NH222 and a well deserved retreat for me after a long time. But the counter has incremented for the unattempted plan to make it to the Palu / Sonawale Caves. It has been the 4th time that I have planned for visiting those caves and all in vain!! I hope I make it the next time..